The part before you leave.

Okay, friends! Here's my travel blog, laid out nice and neat in front of you. In three weeks, I'll be going on great adventures, I'll be seeing things that rock my world, I'll be experiencing things that forever change my perspective on life.

But now?

Now I'm sitting in Reno dealing with the part before you leave. And this part, honestly, is kind of shitty. It's the part that no one ever talks about, yet we all experience it and have to learn how to tie up all these lose ends that make up our lives. This time for me it's been a little more intense since this will be the longest I'll have ever been abroad. So, in an attempt to help me deal with the ever-fluctuating emotions inside of me, let's discuss some of these lose ends.

Obviously, there's the logistical stuff - jobs, housing, credit cards, malaria medication, etc. Most of these can be taken care of with a simple phone call or email. These are the things that hang on your mind, but once you decide to take care of them, they each take ten minutes and you're done. 

The heavier stuff comes next - friends, family, that pathetic thing you think could be the beginnings of a relationship if you weren't leaving (ugh). These are the things that are really hard to deal with. And believe me, three (plus) weeks out, I'm already starting to feel it. When I talk to my friends and family about my up-coming travels, they get misty-eyed and I have to change the topic. I've started saying good-byes to people I know I won't see before I leave, or, in other cases, I pretend like I will see them again so I don't have to say goodbye. While I know everyone is excited for me and only wishes me the best, the occasional sob that leaks out and the don't-worry-it's-just-allergies eye dab pulls at my heart strings. How can such a wonderful opportunity seem so bittersweet at times? 

So for now, I'm working on maintaining a positive outlook. I'm reminding myself as much as my friends/family/pathetic whatever-it-is that leaving friends and family is a part of growing up, that when you look at the big picture, I'm really not gone for that long, and when I return things are back to what they've always been. While I waver between being so excited that I want to jump out of my skin, being so over this shit that I could blow up the entire city of Reno, and being heart broken as I look into the faces of my loved ones knowing that I am voluntarily leaving them, I remind myself that I have one life to live. This is my shot and I must take full advantage of it. So get ready for me, World, because I'm coming for you.